Bác sĩ nói đúng vô cùng...

[KiwiTeTua]

Chí lý.... Life is short..... mần tới luôn, kiêng cữ làm chi?

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up heart will not make you live longer; it likes saying you extend the life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Watch TV series & Eat "heo quay" then take a nap in a couch.... Eat & Sleep make you feeling GOO...OD! Exercises make you tired & wrinkled!

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, it means that they take water out of fruit bits so you get more of nutritions that way. Beer is also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain is..... good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU ARE NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they are permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you??

Q: Will sitting-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscles, they get bigger. You should only do siting-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable! They are the best "feeling-good" food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain about the body of the whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember....

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink whatever and whenever you like. Speaking English is apparently that kills you..... it distorts your tongue!

(lụm trong e-mail)

[Nguyen Huu Thien]

Một rượu một thịt một đàn bà,
Ba thứ linh tinh... đã goá ta!
Tội gì phải kiêng mấy mục ấy,
Bác sĩ đã biểu... tới luôn mà!
(Thiên Lôi – Miệt Dưới)

[Nguyen Huu Thien]

Cụng ly chỉ có đôi mình
Giao bôi một lít phong tình năm canh...
(Thiên Lôi – Miệt Dưới)

[KiwiTeTua]

Một rượu một thịt một đàn bà,
Ba thứ linh tinh... đã goá ta!
Tội gì phải kiêng mấy mục ấy,
Bác sĩ đã biểu... tới luôn mà!
(Thiên Lôi – Miệt Dưới)

Lúc lên núi tập luyện công phu, thầy có bảo, tui chỉ được chọn 1 trong tứ đổ tường, nếu ôm cả 4 sẽ bị tẩu hỏa nhập ma.... Tui chỉ chọn có phân nửa (1/2), chỉ có GÁI, không có trai.

Thịt tôm, Root beer với đàn bà....
Ba thứ này thôi, cũng wá đã.
....hehhheee..hehehe....

Nam vô NỮ như kỳ vô phong

[ducquany]

Khi xưa sung sức thì nghèo.
Bây giờ rủng rỉnh lại teo mất rồi.!!..hu..hu.

[ducquany]

CỤ NÀO ĂN HẾT RỔ ỚT, EM THƯỞNG TRỌN GÓI ... NÈ !!!