English language
Husband texts to wife on cell..
"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language!
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Russians used a pencil
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
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Job Interview
Interview starts…..
HR: What is your name?
Muzo: MP, sir
HR: In full, please
Muzo: Muzo Phiri
HR: Your father's name?
Muzo: MP, sir
HR: What does that mean?
Muzo: Melvin Phiri
HR: Your native place?
Muzo: MP, sir
HR: What's that?
Muzo: Muchinga Province
HR: What is your qualification?
Muzo: MP, sir
HR: (Somewhat agitated…..) What is that!!?
Muzo: Mathematics professor
HR: So why do you need a job?
Muzo: It is because of MP, sir
HR: Meaning?
Muzo: Money problems
HR: What is your personality like?
Muzo: MP, sir
HR: Huh? And what is that?
Muzo: Marvellous personality
HR: I see…... I will get back to you
Muzo: Sir, how was my MP?
HR: And what's that again?
Muzo: My performance
HR: I think you have MP
Muzo: Meaning?
HR: Mental problem
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My new neighbor
She's single...
She lives right across the road. I can see her house from my deck. Everyday I watch as she gets home from work.
One day, I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on my door. I rushed to open it, she looked at me and said: "I just got home, and I am so horny! I want to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night! Are you busy tonight?"
I quickly replied, "Nope, I'm free, I have no plans at all!"
She said, "Great! Could you watch my dog?"
Husband texts to wife on cell..
"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language!
__________________________________________________ _
Russians used a pencil
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
__________________________________________________
Job Interview
Interview starts…..
HR: What is your name?
Muzo: MP, sir
HR: In full, please
Muzo: Muzo Phiri
HR: Your father's name?
Muzo: MP, sir
HR: What does that mean?
Muzo: Melvin Phiri
HR: Your native place?
Muzo: MP, sir
HR: What's that?
Muzo: Muchinga Province
HR: What is your qualification?
Muzo: MP, sir
HR: (Somewhat agitated…..) What is that!!?
Muzo: Mathematics professor
HR: So why do you need a job?
Muzo: It is because of MP, sir
HR: Meaning?
Muzo: Money problems
HR: What is your personality like?
Muzo: MP, sir
HR: Huh? And what is that?
Muzo: Marvellous personality
HR: I see…... I will get back to you
Muzo: Sir, how was my MP?
HR: And what's that again?
Muzo: My performance
HR: I think you have MP
Muzo: Meaning?
HR: Mental problem
__________________________________________________
My new neighbor
She's single...
She lives right across the road. I can see her house from my deck. Everyday I watch as she gets home from work.
One day, I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on my door. I rushed to open it, she looked at me and said: "I just got home, and I am so horny! I want to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night! Are you busy tonight?"
I quickly replied, "Nope, I'm free, I have no plans at all!"
She said, "Great! Could you watch my dog?"