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An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
************************************************** *****
Italian priests
Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was
for them to line up in a row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big-breasted, nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were
told that anyone whose bell rang when the nude woman
danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not
reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction.
She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the
priests, until she got to the final priest, Carlos.
As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly and vigorously that
it flew off, clattering across the ground and landing in nearby foliage.
Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.
He bent over to pick it up....... and all the other bells began to ring.
************************************************** *****
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
************************************************** *****
Italian priests
Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was
for them to line up in a row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big-breasted, nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were
told that anyone whose bell rang when the nude woman
danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not
reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction.
She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the
priests, until she got to the final priest, Carlos.
As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly and vigorously that
it flew off, clattering across the ground and landing in nearby foliage.
Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.
He bent over to pick it up....... and all the other bells began to ring.
************************************************** *****
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